Hello, New Christian.

 

So while we all ushered in the new year, I’m sure….or at least, I hope…some of us resolved to move closer to God this new year. Wouldn’t that make for the best New Year’s resolution? So today I decided to write this to everyone like me who is new in faith and growing in God’s love and grace. The aim isn’t to push you away from Him, but to help you better understand His love.

So last year, I decided to let go and let God. I was at a point in my life where everything seemed to be in disarray and I knew I needed an extra help. Usually I am the most chilled person but I was stressed and troubled and having trouble sleeping and I lost a lot of weight. One day, I thought “Mariam, maybe it’s high time you stop trying to do everything alone and let someone else help”. Question was, who to let help. I tried confiding in a few friends but I could tell no one truly understood, neither could they help, nor did confiding in them make my problems go away. One day, I got on my knees in the middle of the night and I tried to pray but all I did was cry. For such a long time, tears simply rolled down and all I could say was “Lord, please give me peace.” I slept that night and the next morning, I opened my Google and keyed in “bible verses for God’s peace”. A few verses came up:
Philippians 4:7
1 Peter 5:7
Proverb 16:7
Psalm 119:165 were some of the verses I found..

So here I was, thinking “so you mean to tell me that He will automatically give me peace if my way pleases Him? Oh aiit, small thing ”

I tried to do the fire hose, quick fix Christianity but I forgot an important thing “seek ye first the kingdom of God, and EVERY OTHER THING shall be added unto you”. So suffice to say my peace wasn’t coming.. I hated the fact that I’d repented for 2 days and God wasn’t giving me what I wanted….peace. I mean, just imagine. Long story short, I made up my mind to go for the marathon, not the relay.
I decided to share this, this morning because I know how difficult Christianity can be for a young Christian in faith. You want to be good, you want to do right but you can’t do right all the time. It’s a constant game of stumbling and falling and rising. You aren’t made to be perfect, neither were you made to live in sin. It’s a continuous struggle. Even Apostle Paul knew this when He said in Romans 7:15 “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” If the great Apostle Paul could understand that sin is a natural default of the body, who are you to decide to be judge over yourself and condemn yourself because you have deemed yourself condemned? Revelation 2:5, 2 Cor 7:9-10, Acts 3:18-19…. Do not ever forget God’s love which transcends beyond our iniquities and His forgiveness that is beyond our sin. Also do not forget Romans 6:1-4.. do not take advantage..

Jesus is my groom now and like in every marriage, there are days when I don’t want to love my husband and my eyes catch a young stud and I want to cheat. There are days I might actually cheat on whatever level, but I’m married to a man who loves me beyond my understanding. A man who loved me before I was born. A man who is married to me whether I think I’m married to him or not. Now, it’s left to me to simply decide to no longer consciously cheat and do right by Him. To decide to die to the world so I may be alive in Him. Only then can I unlock all the levels of promises and fulfillment of His promises which surpasses anything the world could ever give.

One day we will talk about being a new Christian again, hopefully our lives would be better and more richly blessed because we have let our maker in.

And yes…. I finally found peace